It's never easy to handle the loss of a loved one, but understanding how to get through the emotions and move on gives closure.
If you live on this planet as a human being, you are eventually going to experience grief. It can be the loss of parent, child, husband, wife, friend or pet. The pain remains and the process of getting through it is the same. These are stages of emotions that we all go through as we come to terms with saying goodbye and moving forward. No one person handles grief the same way, although there are seven stages of grief that is commonly known. These stages are shock and denial, pain and guilt, anger and bargaining, depression and reflection and loneliness. No matter what the circumstance of the loss, the process of getting through it is the same seven stages.
I think most of us have felt these emotions regarding the loss of a relationship either in love or friendship. The pain is always intense and many times it can effect your health. Sleep becomes the number one factor that adds to the anxiety of the loss. Loss of appetite and emotions that run high can cause a decrease in weight and other health issues due to depression. We sometimes find ourselves doing things we wouldn't normally do and acting out in anger. It seems like you are another person trapped inside a vicious cycle of crazy emotions that you have no control over.
No matter how bad it feels or seems, things will get better with time. As we all know the saying, "time heals all." This is indeed true and you can't speed up the process of the seven stages of grief. All you can do is go through it and move forward. So if you are going through a terrible loss please know you are not alone and only human as you go through the various stages of emotions. The pain will eventually subside and life goes on.
Shock Stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
You will be in disbelief and literal shock. May appear as if there is no reaction at all and might have to be told a few times. This may be followed by more external shock, where physical reactions may occur such as shortness of breath and possible paling of skin.
Denial stage: Avoiding the inevitable.
Not accepting what has happened and to whom once the initial shock has worn off. Pretending that the news has not happened. They can potentially close their eyes and pretend nothing has happened. They will typically go on with their life and work as though all is well.
Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
After denial comes a sudden surge of anger, where the bottle up emotions are ex pulsed in a huge outpouring of grief. Blaming whoever is in the way. The phrase 'Why me?' may be repeated in an endlessly in their heads. A part of this anger is 'Why not you?', which feeds their anger at the those who are not affected.
Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.
Once the anger subsides, the bargaining stage begins. Seeking ways to avoid having this whole thing happen. Bargaining is a expression of hope that you can reverse the bad news.
Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
After denial, anger and bargaining, the inevitability of the news eventually (and not before you are ready) becomes a reality. From the animation of anger and bargaining, they fall into a deep dark whole with no light at the end of the tunnel. In this deep depression, they see only horrible things with no ending. In turning in towards themselves, they turn away from any solution and any help that others can give them.
Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.Even in the darkest hours of depression, reality starts to take over and the person realizes that they stay in that deep state forever. These may be taken on as 'experiments' to see if doing these things help the situation in any way. As this activity starts to work, at least in some ways, it is found to be preferred to the depression and so the person crawls out of that dark hole.
Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.
Embracing stability is the final stage, where the person is ready and actively involved in moving on to the next phase of their lives, no matter how short. The terminally ill person will be putting their life in order, sorting out wills and helping others to accept the inevitability that then now have countenanced and faced.